Thoughts Of Jessy

       Fear is a natural human response designed to protect individuals from danger. They react quickly to threats or survive in uncertain situations. There are many fears that people can have, whether that’s spiders, falling, snakes, or public speaking situations. There are too many to take into account, so they have to be classified into different categories—moderate to severe or from real life to paranormal. Growing up, I’ve had many fears, having different fears that progressed with me through time.       My childhood was very eventful regarding portions of fear. Like many kids, I had fears of monsters and the dark, but it wasn’t the ordinary kind. There was a reason behind these fears. I used to watch Cartoon Network a bunch as a kid, coming back home just to play games from my favorite cartoons. I remember going into this one Ben 10 game, which was a normal game from the outside looking in. Although it had werewolves. I have no idea why Were...

  What would you wait in line for?    Food is one of the best aspects of God’s creations. Without food, I believe that the use of living would be pointless. Personally, I love food and not just one category. Foods from all cultures; from sweet to salty; from the tenderness to the thickness; from Italy to Japan. Some would consider me a pure fat ass. And I couldn’t care any less, I am proud to embrace this label of myself, and a nice, delicate meal is what I would wait in line for. Back when I was a sophomore, my family and I were visiting family, traveling around Paris. We were seeing amazing French monuments, such as the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Élysées, both amazing places to visit, by the way. After driving around in the car all day, I noticed there was a massive amount of emptiness within the crevices of my stomach. The malicious monster that resides in my abdominal cavity has not had any type of nutrition throughout the day, and that is a major problem. Of cou...

  What is your personal credo?  “Just Do It,” yes, the quote by Nike,  but one quote that held me through moments of fear, laziness, and overthinking. Personally, I consider myself an ambitious person with a lot of ideas and goals for myself, but the only thing that holds me back is procrastination. Procrastination is my worst enemy; it knows my weaknesses, my fears, and my distractions. Looking back, there are a lot of things that I wish I could have done differently.  This mindset that I built for myself all began during my sophomore year of High School. Sitting in the back of Dr. Wilson’s class, staring endlessly at a blank Google Doc that was supposed to become my ten-page history essay on the relationship between Anime and Western cartoons. I didn’t know where to start; instead of trying, I froze and did other things. I think many of us have experienced this moment–knowing something is important, yet feeling unable to do it.  After wasting my minutes of liv...

Between my ears       Many things could tell the story of my life, but nothing speaks louder than the ones I place on my head every day. On its own, it’s just a pair of headphones. To me, it represents my way of energy, emotion, and sense of life. Music has been important to me for as long as I can remember, shaping each season of my life and capturing emotions I never knew how to express.  I always take a pair of headphones, earbuds, or anything that provides melody between my ears. It understands what I’m feeling even when I don’t. You can ask my peers, and they would agree that they always see me with headphones. If I don’t have them, just know that I am having the worst day ever. That’s just how special they are to my character.  My parents gave me my first pair of headphones; they were definitely cheap and flimsy. Although they barely worked half the time,  they were the light of my world. I would put them on, and they would always give me joy as ...

Have you ever been embarrassed by the things you used to like? Anime was one of my favorite things to watch growing up, and it remains so now. As a young child, I was very fond of cartoons and animation. Loving the different art styles, fight scenes, and dynamic storytelling. It all melded together well, and anime became the bread-and-butter of that masterpiece. Reflecting, I remember always being excited to pull up my favorite illegal websites to watch shows like Naruto and Dragon Ball Z because I didn’t appreciate all the ads back then. Don’t judge me, we've all been there. Anime was really enjoyable to me, but it wasn’t as enjoyable to everyone else.  Back then, anime wasn’t a mainstream thing to watch before the COVID-19 lockdown era. It was seen as “weird” or “childish.” People weren’t allowed to express what they watched, whether it was talking about it, dressing like the characters, or even acting like different characters. A vast majority of people who watched anime wer...

  Don DeLillo’s Libra doesn’t just retell the assassination of President JFK; it really dives into the murky world of conspiracies surrounding one of the most shocking events in American history. However, we didn’t get to really see all the insane theories and conspiracies that people created and continued to argue about. The assassination of the President remains one of the most heavily debated events in American history. Even though the government's conclusion claims Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, many people have found it unsatisfying or thought that there is probably more behind it. A wide range of conspiracy theories has emerged, fueled by inconsistent evidence, mysterious circumstances, and the public’s growing distrust of authority during the Cold War era.  One of the most popular conspiracy theories suggests that the CIA or other government agencies were also involved in Kennedy’s death, which is spoken about within Libra . Supporters of this theory argue that Kenned...

  As we know, Octavia Butler’s Kindred is one of the most powerful literary explorations of slave narratives ever written. Through Dana’s sudden travels from 1976 California to an early 19th-century Maryland plantation, Butler forces readers to confront the brutal realities that enslaved people faced. To actually feel the emotions and fears as if they were there in that moment. While Dana begins with a modern understanding of history, living through it firsthand changes her completely. This shows how many Americans today learn about slavery only through textbooks and educators, which are often only surface-level. Never fully understanding the fear, violence, and loss that defined everyday life for enslaved people. Thankfully, at Uni, Mr Leff taught us beyond surface level.  Many of the events in Kindred directly reflect real historical practices of slavery. For example, Dana witnesses slaves being whipped, families being separated, and enslaved people being denied education. A...

     Jes Grew represents a powerful cultural force that spreads like an uncontrollable epidemic, embodying freedom, creativity, and African diasporic expression. In Mumbo Jumbo, it is expressed as a “plague” that infects people with dance, rhythm, and joy, standing in direct opposition to rigid Western structures that try to suppress individuality and Black culture. Obviously, now we know that Jes Grew is not a literal disease, but a metaphor for cultural awakening—a rebellion against conformity and the erasure of African identity. Ishmael Reed celebrates how culture, especially music and art, cannot be contained or silenced by systems of control. During the novel, the Atonist Order symbolizes the forces that seek to suppress Jes Grew: institutions of power, colonialism, and cultural dominance. Fearing that the spread of cultural challenges hierarchy and celebrates expressions outside the normal “American” norms. In a sense, Jes Grew becomes more of a fight for authentici...

    As we took a deep dive into Ragtime, Mother's Younger Brother emerges as one of the most dynamic yet troubled characters in the story. Being faced with the struggles of identity and change. Initially, he is a young man living at his sister's house. drifting through life without direction or purpose. He has an obsession with Evelyn Nesbit, letting all his decisions be directed towards her. "Mother's Younger Brother was in love with Evelyn Nesbit. He has closely followed the scandal surrounding her name and had begun to reason that the death of her lover, Stanford White, and the imprisonment of her husband, Harry K. Thaw," (Chapter 8). Revealing to us his immaturity and inability to distinguish a real human connection from shallow desire. One of the reasons he falls downhill is after his situation with Evelyn Nessbit fails. Endowing him with thoughts of suicide after placing his whole life purpose in obsessing over her. "The young man was in mourning,"...

                   In Sag Harbor, Colson Whitehead creatively uses the depths of nostalgia throughout the novel to explore the bittersweet memories of adolescence and the passage of time. Benji often looks back on his teenage summers in Sag Harbor during the 1980s, creating vivid memories of frozen moments like slurping down icees, biking through town, and hanging out with my friends. Whitehead’s use of detailed, sensory descriptions really brings the readers into memories and feel the emotions that Benji is feeling. “We were all there. It was where we mingled with who we had been and who we would be. Sharing space with our echoes out in the sun. The shy kid we used to be and were growing away from, the confident or hard-luck men we would become in our impending seasons, the elderly survivors we’d grow into if we were lucky, with gray stubble and green sun visors” (Whitehead 305). This is a point where Benji is on the brink of ...

            David Mitchell has brought us an amazing novel, Black Swan Green, providing us with interesting growth of Jason. The growth of Taylor and Dean Moran friendship is the one of the most profound that came from this novel. Jason initially proves to be a poor friend to Dean; at the start of the novel, Jason is deeply concerned with fitting in and avoiding the ridicule of his peers, especially the school bullies. He is desperate to avoid being labeled as “unpopular” or “gay” or “weird” by his classmates, especially by Ross Wilcox and Gary Drake. To maintain his fragile social standing, Jason usually distances himself from Dean, even though Dean has always been so kind to him.       At the beginning of the story, he doesn’t even refer to him as Dean but Moron, “Or if I called Moron “Dean” in front of everyone, it’d damage my own standing. So you’ve got to watch out.” (Mitchell 6). In the early portion of his novel, he values hi...

         While reading Alison Bechdel's graphic novel Fun Home, Bruce Bechdel emerges as a deeply flawed yet interesting antihero. As we heard during class, an antihero is a protagonist who lacks traditional heroic qualities like morality, courage, or selflessness, yet still commands the reader's interest. Bruce is a man full of contradictions–a devoted intellectual and a detached, secretive individual. He hides his homosexuality while maintaining a rigid, often oppressive household, shaping Alison's view of him both as a tragic and puzzling figure. Despite many of his faults, Alison still doesn't entirely disparage him, instead revealing him as a deeply complex character who struggles, though he is harmful to those around him.      Although Bruce often aligns with those of a traditional antagonist, Alison doesn’t resent him in her story about him. Alison’s narration presents him in a more nuanced light. Even when he engages in affairs with young...

    In Sylvia Plath's novel The Bell Jar, the metaphor of the bell jar really illustrates Esther's struggle to break free from both societal expectations and her internal struggles. The bell jar represents an invisible barrier a suffocating enclosure that separates Esther from the world, magnifying her sense of isolation and entrapment. She feels restrained by the rigid roles imposed upon her as young woman in the 1950s-the pressure to become a perfect woman. We noticed this when she is having a conversation with Jay Cee as she questions Esther about her career plans and pushes her to learn languages and hone her skills, it highlights the relentless pressure Esther feels to "be someone" in a way that others will approve of (Plath Chapter 4). This moment intensifies Esther's sense of being observed and judged, as if she is trapped under the glass of the bell jar, with Jay Cee and society peering in, assessing whether she measures up. .As Esther enters the mental ho...

         J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye follows Holden Caulfield as he travels through the depths of New York City, dealing with feelings of loneliness, grief, an frustration. While Holden often hides his true emotions when he's talking to us, the readers, there are moments when he tells people how he truly feels about them--usually during arguments or altercations. Whether it's his fight with Stradlater, his violent beat down with Maurice, or his heated moment with Sally, these conflicts bring out his raw emotions and thoughts to people that's not the readers.      One of the first major altercations in the novel occurs when Holden fights with his roommate, Stradlater. The fight is sparked by Stradlater's date with Jane Gallagher, as we know a girl Holden deeply cares about. Which leads Holden to be extremely anxious about what occurred between them, knowing what type of  "techniques" he does in the Coach's car. As they fight Ho...

      Towards the end of The Stranger , others were starting to really see the depths of Meursault true personality. Being viewed as cold and indifferent in other words "étranger", leading some to see him as a "horrible person". However, Meursault's apparent lack of emotion and his refusal to hold to societal expectations do not necessarily make him immoral. Instead, these traits reflect his authenticity and honesty, to values that Albert Camus prized. Through Meursault, Camus challenges readers to question what truly defines morality and whether society's judgment of Meursault is fair.       A huge reason people might see Meursault as heartless is how he reacted to his mother's death and what they noticed at the funeral. "The director then looked down at the tips of his shoes and said that I hadn't wanted to see Maman, that I hadn't cried once, and that I had left right after the funeral without paying my last respects at her grave" (C...

      I n The Sun Also Rises, Hemmingway presents a fine yet touching ending that reveals much about the complex relationship between Jake and Brett. The final scene, where Brett says, "Oh, Jake, we could have had such a damned good time together," capturing the essence of their unfulfilled love and the distinct emotions that brings them together. Hemingway leaves readers wondering if this moment marks an end to their relationship or if it signals a moment of acceptance for Jake, who, throughout the novel, has grappled with his unrequited love and inability to fulfill Brett's desires.      Jake and Brett's relationship is one of deep affection, but it is continually frustrated by external limitations, most notably, Jake's war injury, leaving him very vulnerable. This physical inability acts as a barrier that neither Jake nor Brett can overcome, creating a bittersweet connection that is more unique than the relations she has with other men. ...

 In Virginia Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway , the characters of Clarissa Dalloway and Septimus Warren Smith explore the complex interplay between memory and identity. Both characters are heavily influenced by their pasts, but their responses to these memories differ significantly. Clarissa, a woman of social standing in post-World War I London, is deeply reflective, her thoughts often returning to significant people from her past like Peter Walsh and Sally Seaton. Her memories evoke self-doubt and criticism as she grapples with who she is and the life she has chosen. Clarissa's internal struggles, shaped by her relationships, reveal her complex identity. Torn between her desire for freedom and the security of societal expectations.  In contrast, Septimus, a war veteran suffering from shell shock, is consumed by the trauma of his past. He is haunted by memories of the war, unable to engage with them in hte way Clarissa does. His hallucinations and intrusive thoughts, particularly of his...

     The Mezzanine follows a protagonist Howie who views everything, on a different level kind of like a painter. Especially with regard to his tendency to overanalyze everything in the world around him. It is said that Howie's mind is a whirlwind of ideas, perceptions, and recollections all together. Although it appears from the outside that he is doing something typical, Nicoholson Baker gathers all of Howie's ideas and turns them into a narrative. Howie's obsession with the smallest things you overlook in your "everyday" life is similar to that of a painter who is always perceptive.       Howie's mind is the most evident in the way that he fixates on small objects and small details that most adults would overlook. He give everything a bigger picture and finds a meaning behind it, Baker is remarkable at making his thoughts deeply introspective. Ranting about the designs of a stapler, textures of a straw, and these thing would trigger beautifully de...