The Monster Within My Stomach

 

What would you wait in line for?


  
Food is one of the best aspects of God’s creations. Without food, I believe that the use of living would be pointless. Personally, I love food and not just one category. Foods from all cultures; from sweet to salty; from the tenderness to the thickness; from Italy to Japan. Some would consider me a pure fat ass. And I couldn’t care any less, I am proud to embrace this label of myself, and a nice, delicate meal is what I would wait in line for. Back when I was a sophomore, my family and I were visiting family, traveling around Paris. We were seeing amazing French monuments, such as the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Élysées, both amazing places to visit, by the way. After driving around in the car all day, I noticed there was a massive amount of emptiness within the crevices of my stomach. The malicious monster that resides in my abdominal cavity has not had any type of nutrition throughout the day, and that is a major problem. Of course, I asked my family if we could go to get some food, because I felt like I was going to die in a matter of minutes with no food in my system. I don’t know when, but at some point, I dozed off, and I woke up magically with pizza in my hand. Maybe it was because hungry, but this looked, felt, tasted like the best pizza I ever had in my life. The texture, delicateness of the crust, and the fluff were all there. I still think about that pizza to this day. I think that was the day when my love for food kicked off. I love sweets. Usually at school, when I forget my lunch or find myself hungry, I go to the vending machine and get the unhealthiest sweets I can get. Mostly it’s just honey buns

 


Comments

  1. Hi Jessy! This blog was very funny and entertaining! I relate to your thought on food. Honestly, I would wait in a long line for a good slice of pizza too. The start of the third paragraphs (I love sweets) feels a bit out of place right now. Maybe it is because I don't see the full picture yet, but I am not sure if it fully supports you answer to the prompt. Your essay is a bit short (I assume you are still working on the body paragraphs), so you are probably going to add more reflection and finish out the story. This essay has good potential and I am excited to see how you finish it! Great job!

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  2. Hello Jessy! Your essay has an amazing start as you dive right into examples with that story of yours about Paris. However, I was a bit confused about where you reflection and conclusion paragraphs were. It also feels a bit strange to have your essay cut off abruptly in the middle of a paragraph but I can tell you're still writing it. If I were to give some advice on the reflection and conclusion, maybe have the reflection connect to the conclusion. They don't have to be in the same paragraph maybe just have the reflection build up to the conclusion.

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  3. Hi Jessy! I really liked your essay right from the beginning and I totally agree that food is so wonderful! I also like how you use very casual language which really makes the readers feel like you are a friend. I think you are still working on the essay but I think if you still need to lengthen your essay you could make your description of food (for example the pizza) more specific to really show how great of a pizza it was (or maybe it was super normal but you could exaggerate it). There are also some minor grammar/english mistakes but overall I think this essay has very high potential!

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